In this article, we give you 11 questions to ask when choosing a life partner on online matrimonial sites in Kerala (India).
Choosing a life partner is a crucial decision. A beautiful, lifelong journey, marriage is a meeting of two beautiful souls that promise to embark on the passage of love forever. Many people choose to register in matrimonial websites having the faith in discovering their soul mate.
We understand that your family would have performed background checks on the prospect. They would have ensured that the family is well off matching own social status, the prospect is educated and is settled professionally. Even other criteria such as horoscope matching, social, financial equality, etc. must have been mapped before finalizing an arranged meet.
But we all know that a healthy marriage is much more than that. If your families have arranged a meeting date with your prospective Indian bride or groom, the butterflies in the stomach grow stronger. There must be thousands of questions lurking in the mind.
Regardless of how you guys met, online matrimonial site or friends or relatives, the bottom line is that the prospect is unknown to you.
How will you know if he/she is the right person for you?
What to ask them on the first meet?
If you are wondering what to ask the prospect, we give you these following questions to ask when choosing a life partner which you can ask them that will help you to know them better.
1. What are your hobbies and interests?
This is one of the common and basic questions to ask when choosing a life partner. Nevertheless, you can comprehend a lot from the reply you receive. A person with opposite interests from yours can be very difficult to live with. For instance, if you are an outgoing person and your prospect is an introvert who loves to confine to yourself and your family, then conflicts can occur.
2. What do you expect from a partner?
You never know how this question will surprise you as the answers can be quite contrary to what you may presume. To know what they expect from a partner clearly indicates if you guys have a chance to be together. It is better to have a proper stand on such matters as it will avoid any future misunderstandings.
3. What are your future goals and plans?
While this is sort of an interviewer-interviewee question, it is still a relevant question that pertains personally to both the parties as well. It is as important for a man to know the future plans of his woman as it is important for a woman to know about her man. A career-oriented woman who does not want to compromise on her career after marriage definitely needs an understanding husband. To find such an understanding husband needs a much broader mindset which is still rare in India.
4. Are you willing to share and accept the responsibilities of both families?
While girls are expected to take up the responsibility of the husband’s family, is the boy too willing to share his responsibilities towards his wife’s family? Or does he have the orthodox mindset that believes his wife should take care of his parents like her own while son-in-law has no moral responsibility towards his wife’s parents? This is a very serious factor and can give you a fair idea of your partner’s mentality which can enable you to decide better.
5. How do you visualize your relationship with your partner?
This is another among the top questions to ask when choosing a life partner. It helps you and your partner to understand your relationship as a life partner. Whether you would like to have a friend in partner with whom you can yourself and share anything without any fear. While this seems to be an idealistic image, the answer will say a lot about their mindset and behavior.
6. What do you do when you are alone or when you are bored?
How a person spends his/her day reflects their personality. If you find that the answer is vague or boring, then there will be very fewer things that interest the other person. This means you will have a tough time to keep them interested. So think twice before taking the next step.
7. Have you ever lived alone?
This is to recognize the dependability of the person on other people. An independent person will give you your own space. While you may not be able to judge their cooking or household chores, you can grasp the mindset.
8. Whom are you closest to in the family?
This question will help you understand about who the other person listens the most. So, in case of any problems, you can approach the person (if you get married).
9. Are you willing to lose some battles to keep the peace?
The key to a successful marriage is controlling the ego. No matter how competitive we are, at times, we need to pick your battles. Sometimes the arguments and the stress are just not worth it.
What some people don’t realize is that 99% of arguments aren’t over the fact but the opinion. An opinion is neither right nor wrong. At times, you just have to let things be.
10. Do you want children?
The thought of having a progeny sooner or later is a fact to be discussed. While some people like to have children right away, some take their own time in having a child while some are not interested in having a child.
This is an unpredictable path and if you are a person who loves to children but wants to take a couple of years before shouldering parent responsibility while the opposite person wants a child right away, it is better to sort out matters before saying YES.
11. Will you support me when I can’t support myself?
We are not talking emotionally but even physically, if necessary. No one knows what life holds. When the unexpected happens that leaves us weak and permanently damaged, we need our partner and loved ones the most. Will your partner support you when you can’t walk?
Will your partner carry the family you both have created till you regain your strength? Is your partner capable of fighting battles for both of you even when you are vulnerable?
Things to consider before making the final decision
Now that you have met the prospective partner, you have a good idea of what he/she is like. But before saying YES, here are some thoughts you should consider before giving the final nod.
Do you like him/her?
It is not if you love the person. It is if you like them.
The challenge lies in knowing if what you are feeling is a “genuine like” or a “fool’s like”, the latter being a symptom of being intoxicated with lust and excitement. While a healthy lust is good, it is not a basic source to keep a long-term relationship happy.
Ask yourself if you want your child to marry someone like them. Think about the discussion you had, their behavior, body language and not what they say.
Do you share the same money values?
How do you like to spend your money? Are you a spendthrift, stingy or a person who handles money wisely? If your prospect is the exact opposite, the inevitable squabbles will start to rise once you are together.
A recent study surveyed on what makes women say “Yes” to a relationship. Here are few of three questions topped the poll of what women ask men during their initial meeting.
1. “Do you live in a nuclear or joint family”, asks 36% of women
2. “Will you be supportive of my career”, asks 30% of women
3. “Do you know how to cook”, asks 26% of women
The numbers were slightly variant for men.
1. “Are you willing to live with my family”, asked 36% of men
2. “Do you plan to work after marriage”, asked 34% of men
3. “Can you cook”, asked 19% of men
Above are a few of the questions that need serious consideration. If you both don’t share the same attitudes about the topics above, then it is probably best to pause and consider before making a commitment.
Take the first step towards marriage and find your life partner by registering online at Kerala Matrimonial site that comes with a huge database of potential prospects.